Nolte: Marvel's Woketard 'Eternals' Stumbles with $71 Million Opening

Nolte: Marvel's Woketard 'Eternals' Stumbles with $71 Million Opening

richard madden marvel eternals

Marvel’s woketard Eternals opened to a disappointing $71 million. The predictions had been anywhere from $75 to $85 million, so one can only wonder what lame excuses the sycophant entertainment media will come up with to explain away this one.

Sorry, there was no same-day streaming release.

Sorry, there was no heavy competition at the box office.

Sorry, there was no lack of a big star.

Sorry, there was no lack of awareness.

Sorry, there was no wave of theater closings.

But I’m sure the water carriers will think of something.

Oh, wait, they already have…

The woketards over at far-left Variety are arguing Eternals got bad reviews because the director is a woman, and the bad reviews killed Eternals.

You see, when women direct action movies, Variety believes, critics hammer them… Oh, you mean like Birds of Prey (79 percent fresh), Wonder Woman (93 percent fresh), Captain Marvel (79 percent fresh), Black Widow (79 percent fresh), and pretty much everything the great Kathryn Bigelow has done for the last 35 years?

The truth, and we all know it, is that the exact opposite is true. Women and minorities enjoy a big boost from critical affirmative action. Does anyone think the above score would be as high if white guys had directed them, especially that dog Birds of Prey?

I have no issue with Eternals director Chloe Zhao. In fact, having just seen and loved Nomadland just last month, she had earned all kinds of goodwill from me. Nomadland is one of the few films of the last few years to actually live up to all its critical praise and Oscar gold (Director and Picture). Oh, and I’ve been championing Kathryn Bigelow for more than thirty years.

The problem with Eternals is not that it’s directed by a chick. The problem with Eternals is that it’s not a very good movie (here’s my review). There are too many characters, a dull story we’ve seen a hundred times, too much focus on “identity” as opposed to “character” and “humanity,” the movie’s too long, it’s butt-numbingly dull in too many spots, and the actors have no chemistry together.

The fact that it got a “B” CinemaScore from the very same fans who ran out to see it opening weekend is a harbinger of a movie that’s about to sail off a cliff on week two.

Marvel also has more significant problems. Eternals was supposed to play a vital role in its “Phase IV,” and nobody’s dying to see this band get together again.

Woke lies about human nature, and when you base art on lies, it’s not art; it’s propaganda.

Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facbook Page here.

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