DEAR DEIDRE: DURING the dead of night or first thing in the morning I have no problem getting an erection – but when it comes to trying to have sex with my wife, I am a failure.
I do get aroused, but it then just goes soft very quickly, even before penetration.
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This has been happening to me for at least a year and I don’t know how I can fix the problem.
I’m 43 and my wife is 40. We have been together for ten years and have two children aged six and four.
She is starting to get annoyed with me over the issue and she has even suggested we take a break in our relationship.
What can I do? How can I get my sex life back to how it used to be.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your problem is almost certainly down to anxiety. You are tense and anxious, having got into a pattern of worrying about failure.
That in itself is enough to block your sexual responses, coupled with your wife’s threat to break up with you.
See your GP to rule out an underlying medical cause.
In the meantime, my support pack Solving Erection Problems explains self-help sex therapy.