DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband has done a Matt Hancock and I’ve got the video to prove it.
I’d had my suspicions for months that something was up, but he’s too clever to get caught out by an incriminating text or phone call.
If someone hadn’t sent me the evidence, I think he’d still be at it now.
I’m 37 and my husband, a solicitor, is 39. We have two daughters, 11, and ten.
When the video was sent with the message, “Your husband — working hard” my heart sank.
Watching the fuzzy footage of him approach a woman at her desk from behind and cup her breasts made me feel sick.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
As she spun around, I recognised her as one of the younger solicitors my husband works with.
Next she stood up and they started kissing passionately.
There was no one else around and the time stamp was 20.13 on a Wednesday evening.
The video cut out abruptly while they were still kissing, with his hands on her bum.
I must have watched the film over a thousand times now and it still makes me feel just as queasy as the first time.
I’ve been a wreck since. I’ve tried to carry on as normal while I work out what to do but it’s been so obvious there is something wrong my husband kept asking me to talk to him.
Eventually, I threw my phone at him with the video playing. His face was a picture.
Immediately after he said, “Who on earth would do that?”
He seemed more concerned with finding out who had sent the video than my feelings.
But since then he has apologised endlessly and says he was foolish — simply flattered by the younger woman’s attention.
He wants me to forgive him but I can’t stop watching the video and asking him details about this woman.
I need to know what she has that I don’t.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Delete the video. Watching this on repeat won’t help you move forward.
Your husband had an affair – that is the situation you need to deal with.
Chasing more details will only hurt and sidetrack you.
Better to focus on whether you want to try again.
When you are ready to talk to your husband, discuss what you both need to do to strengthen your relationship.
Is he genuinely sorry and is he prepared to work hard to regain your forgiveness and trust?
You have two young daughters so it is definitely worth trying to see if you can both rebuild your relationship.
Either way, talking to a couples counsellor would help you work through this difficult period in your life so that your children can flourish in a stable environment.
Most read in Dear Deidre