DO you ever feel like your partner dismisses the chance to have light-hearted conversations with you? If yes, you might need to try the bird test.
According to one woman, it is the ultimate way to gauge if your beau is right for you – with one study suggesting it’s the key to avoiding divorce.
But Alyssa adds that it’s also a good way to put friendships and family relationships to the test.
“I live and die by the bird test because it never fails,” she said in a TikTok video.
“It’s a test to gauge whether a not a relationship will be successful.
“Usually, it’s in the context of romantic relationships but I always do this with friends and family members; literally anyone I meet.”
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Explaining how it works, Alyssa used the example of going out for coffee with a new friend.
While out, they spotted a woodpecker in the tree and “spent the next ten minutes” talking about it.
“If you say something that could be deemed insignificant and your partner responds with genuine curiosity, that’s a really good sign that your relationship will last a really long time,” she said.
“But if they blow you off and don’t acknowledge you, that’s a really bad sign.
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“It’s for romantic relationships, but I’m telling you: do this with your friends and family members.”
If you feel that someone is constantly dismissing small opportunities to connect with you, then you can try the bird test.
It’ll give you a quick insight into how attuned you both are, without the need for a lengthy heart-to-heart.
Though it’s not gospel on determining relationship health, the bird test does give you something meaningful to think about.
Whether you’ve been in a relationship for years or are just starting out, enthusiastic interactions every day can help strengthen your bond.
Psychologist Dr. John Gottman calls the test a “bid for attention” as it is a way of signalling to a partner that you want them to engage with something you’re interested in.
According to research by Dr Gottman, couples that stay married for longer than six years pass the bird test 86% of the time.
That’s because we can’t be perfect 100% of the time, but making an effort to respond to your partner’s “bids for connection” most of the time sets a good foundation for love.
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Josie O'Brien
