IF you woke up with a banging headache on Monday morning, many Americans were right there with you.
But when drinking spills into dependency, and you find yourself filled with regret the next morning, that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach might be more than the nausea caused by a hangover.
For years, Evan Cudworth struggled with alcohol and drug addiction, living a hedonistic party lifestyle and draining his bank account buying shots.
His first attempt at following dry January failed on week two.
But now at 37, he’s proud to be 18 months sober, and is a passionate believer that the party doesn’t have to stop when the drinks do.
It took a while for Evan, who today works as a professional party coach, to realize that he had a problem with substance abuse.
“My vision of an addict or an alcoholic was somebody who was angry or mean,” he exclusively told The U.S. Sun.
“That was never me, but what I would do is I would go and empty my bank account buying shots.
“I wanted to be liked by everybody. That’s how it showed up for me.”
Evan didn’t become a sober party coach overnight, but his desire to teach others goes as far back as adolescence.
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“I’ve been coaching and teaching since I was 14 years old. I was a cellist. I was teaching others at that early age.
“I taught in Chicago public schools, drama. I was an admissions consultant,” he explained.
Eventually, this would lead him to teach people to party without substances and become “high” naturally through group challenges and wellness retreats.
He started leading the events seven years ago, although he admits: “I’ve never been sober that entire time.”
“But I’ve had a lot of experiences partying sober, being at bars, being in the industry late at night, doing that type of work,” he added.
“I think a lot of drinking in general is just a way for us to feel a part of something.”
My vision of an addict or an alcoholic was somebody who was angry or mean. That was never me, but what I would do is I would go and empty my bank account buying shots
Evan Cudworth
Like many people, Evan’s relationship with substances was intertwined with other areas of his life.
He worked in music and nightlife for 15 years, attending over 1000 festivals and concerts, experiencing all the “highs and lows of the party scene.”
“I love partying, I love nightlife and music. I’m a cellist. I was also a frat boy,” he said.
He also admitted that cocaine was often his drug of choice.
“The substances kind of took over and separated me from those communities, but it was very confusing to me for a long time.”
“I identify as an addict,” Evan said. “I’d even say it proudly.
“One of the things you find out when you step into this world is many, if not most, of the artists and actors and musicians that I look up to, you later find out they struggle with the same things I did.
“Some of them figure it out and some of them don’t.
“I’m just grateful that I had people who supported me to get to a place where, I still don’t have it all figured out but it’s allowed me to see I’m not alone in this.”
According to Evan, alcohol, cocaine specifically, spikes our dopamine high above baseline, so it feels really good.
“But when that crash happens, it’s essentially like a wave pool,” he added.
The first step in his wellness journey was spawned by a move across the country, after being attached to the music industry’s late-night lifestyle for so long.
“I moved to Los Angeles from New York and some other places because I knew I wanted to be healthier, but I didn’t have the right ideas around what that meant,” he said.
An avid fitness fan, he came across a “strong, fun, and interesting” group of men at a local CrossFit gym.
“I didn’t even realize these people were sober. I’m ashamed to admit that it was really one of the first times in my life that I saw people bottling a life that I wanted to live,” Evan detailed.
His breakthrough moment for him was when he attended Burning Man, a week-long desert festival in Nevada, not once but twice.
He didn’t want to get into the exact drugs that he was using, but he shared that he got into a space where he felt so separate from everyone else around him and “really dark.”
There was a cheap tequila on the corner and I went and grabbed it. I drank. I just felt the dishonesty wash down my back on my neck.
Evan Cudworth
Two years later he went back and had a fully sober experience there.
“To do it sober and feel connected and to realize ‘this is a real experience.’ People that get high on life. That’s real. That was super powerful for me,” he said happily.
Evan had done periods of sobriety before this, but there’s a defining moment in particular that he thinks of often.
“I remember going out to this club in Brooklyn. It was the second week of dry January. As soon as I got there, I was feeling anxious and before I knew it, I had two drinks,” he admitted.
Evan finally quit booze after an influencer event, when he was interviewing people as part of his role as a sober party coach.
“There was a cheap tequila on the corner and I went and grabbed it. I drank. I just felt the dishonesty wash down my back on my neck,” he said.
“What I do right now is part of a purpose that I have that keeps me going.”
Evan teaches his clients about fostering a growth mindset over a fixed mindset because “you are inviting a change into your life.”
“The big part of a growth mindset is that there will be setbacks along the way, but if you still show up the next day, with persistence, that is where the success comes,” he detailed.
That can be extra tough because often when people do drink, one drink normally leads to five drinks, and it takes our dopamine or motivation reward system.
“We don’t want to show back up because our brains and our bodies are not motivated to do those things,” the coach explained.
That’s exactly where Evan’s wellness practices come in as he provides supportive groups for people who are on the same journey.
He has a three-step process to help his clients navigate a life either completely without or with limited use of substances.
Three Stages of Beyond Living
- Clarity and slowing down
- Paying attention to dopamine regulations and figure out what you want
- Find somebody else that looks anxious, looks out of place, and help them feel like they belong.
The first stage is clarity closely followed by the second, paying attention to the regulation of your dopamine and figuring out what you want.
Stage three is more proactive and forces you to get out of your comfort zone.
“Instead of going to the bar for that first drink, your job is to look for the crowd, find somebody else that looks anxious, looks out of place, and help them feel like they belong,” Evan advised.
As an added benefit, he said that the action is going to build your confidence in that moment because you are being useful and subsequently have a purpose.
“I used to be sick all the time, and part of that was because I was out till super late at night. But there’s a lot of science to what alcohol does to our immune system,” he explained.
He revealed that the anxious “hangxiety” feeling, where you feel low after a party weekend is because you “basically shake it [dopamine] up like a wave pool, and empty it all out.”
Evan said there are natural ways to replenish your dopamine and to do so in a way that makes you feel good.
Some of them include ice plunges, cold plunges, and switching up your diet.
“Omega fatty acids like fish oil, really lean proteins, and things like that are going to replenish your dopamine much quicker,” he said.
He added that having junk meals, like “greasy Chinese food,” is the worst thing you can do to your body after a hangover.
With the holiday season wrapping up, many people may have felt the pressure to drink in familial and close environments.
Evan said it’s possible to create that feeling of a lively and fun house party without alcohol.
It just takes a little planning and creativity.
For example, for Thanksgiving in the Midwest with his family, he created a wellness bar shot with apple cider vinegar and ginger shots.
“They felt a part of my world. Pretty soon I saw it on their own and they were doing the shots,” he said.
For anyone who is experiencing addiction and trying to live a life beyond booze and substances, Evan shared some supportive anecdotes.
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“If anyone is out there struggling, it’s gonna be the hardest thing in the world to do. Ask for that help,” he said.
If you or someone you know is affected by any of the issues raised in this story, call SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
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Nadgeena Jerome
