DEAR DEIDRE: We go three months at a time without living together, during which time I manage perfectly well on my own, but then when my partner comes home I find it difficult to adjust to the point of feeling claustrophobic.
I’m 42 and my partner’s 40. We’ve been together for eight years. She’s an aircraft maintenance technician.
I suffer with anxiety which is manageable when I’m alone but it goes through the roof when she’s home.
I think because she wants to spend every minute with me and she also has strong ideas on how things should be done.
I love her wholeheartedly, but at the same time feel regularly resentful of her being home.
Still I hate it when she has to leave again.
I’m feeling so unhappy and confused right now.
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DEIDRE SAYS: The disruption when your partner comes and goes upsets your routine.
You both have to make adjustments each time.
Military life is full of transitions and may bring mixed emotions.
Returning from a deployment can strain your relationship as you get used to being together again.
Talk about what it’s like when she returns home and talk about boundaries.
Explain that you find it difficult to adjust and keep communication open and honest. My support pack Living With Anxiety can help.
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Sally Land
