My ‘overbearing’ mother-in-law paid for my wedding dress but now is making crazy demands, I don’t know if I’m ungrateful

My ‘overbearing’ mother-in-law paid for my wedding dress but now is making crazy demands, I don’t know if I’m ungrateful

A BRIDE-TO-BE looking forward to marrying her high school sweetheart took her mother-in-law wedding dress shopping with her.

Things took a turn for the worst, however.

At first, a bride-to-be was grateful when her mother-in-law paid for her wedding dress
At first, a bride-to-be was grateful when her mother-in-law paid for her wedding dressCredit: Getty

Posting anonymously to Reddit, the 22-year-old said that because her mother-in-law recently went through a divorce, subsequent messy relationship, and saw her mother pass, the couple has tried to be extra supportive of her.

“She has become somewhat overbearing and even told my fiancé not to take a new job offer because it would mean we would have to move a little farther from her,” she wrote in the post.

While they had been trying to be understanding of her emotions, she became more and more demanding.

When it came to their wedding, things got ugly.

“She came along with me to find and pick out my wedding dress and she even offered to pay for it, which was unexpected and I am grateful.”

The bride-to-be then told her mother-in-law what color she would like her to wear for the nuptials, and pointed her to a few online shops that her own mother had been using in her search.

“However, she says that if she shops online it won’t be the experience she was expecting.

“She mentions that she saw that my wedding dress shop sells mother-of-bride dresses and she wants me to take her up there, without my mom, and spend the day shopping for her dress so she can get her experience.”

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Problem number one? The bridal shop in question is a three-hour drive away, so she would have to take off work to visit during appointment hours.

“I mentioned that we could go to a closer town to us and that we could invite my mom and make a day of it.

“She starts to visibly get upset and says that that is not what she wanted or expected and that she is set on my bridal shop.”

The fiancé put her foot down and said she wasn’t going to take off of work or go dress shopping without her own mother.

“She started to cry and explained that everyone that loved her has stopped loving her or has died and that she is all alone now.

“She also made some backhanded comment about none of her kids loving her and how she might as well not be a mother.”

While she didn’t mean to upset her, she felt guilty given that her mother-in-law paid for her bridal gown.

Readers, however, said she had no reason to feel bad.

“While she’s going through stuff, she can’t cut your own mother out of this experience. Not if you want your mother involved.

“Nor can she dictate where and when you go shopping.  Don’t let her guilt you into things. She’s manipulating you with her ‘everyone has abandoned me’ crap,” one person noted.

“I think it’s important for you and your fiancé to set some boundaries with her and be very firm about sticking to them.

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“Otherwise, she will slowly take over your lives. The fact that she is trying to make [your wedding dress shopping] all about her is a major red flag,” another warned.

“Honestly, I don’t know how cash strapped you are, but her dress offer has strings attached for miles. Someone should tell her that if those are her conditions for paying for the dress, you’ll buy your own dress,” a third suggested.

She couldn't reason with her mother-in-law, who insisted on the bridal shop for her own gown
She couldn’t reason with her mother-in-law, who insisted on the bridal shop for her own gownCredit: Getty

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Dani Grande

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