Reviewing the first episode of this year’s The Apprentice (BBC1) last week, Christopher Stevens suggested here that the class of 2024 might be the dumbest yet. Tonight’s second episode, I’m fairly confident, would not have changed his mind.
This week’s task was based on what Lord Sugar™ rather improbably claimed is ‘one of the biggest trends’ in Britain today: the unstoppable rise of the mini cheesecake. Each team had to make two batches, one to sell to a corporate client, the other to the general public – with the team that made the bigger profit the winners.
For a while, the girls got a bit bogged down in arguing about how many grams are in a kilogram. But, having worked that out, they set off to their clients at London Dungeon, where they managed to negotiate a suitable gruesome price of £13.80 per small cake, promising (not altogether truthfully) that the final result would be worth it.
Less successful were the boys, whose corporate clients were the Innocent smoothie company. Innocent’s commitment to healthy eating – not in any case a great secret – was hard to miss from the fruit and vegetable-related decorations adorning almost every inch of their headquarters. Nonetheless, the boys’ chief negotiator Paul missed it, recommending something more chocolatey instead.
‘We don’t want chocolate,’ said the clients – and then said it again when Paul poured scorn on the whole silly business of ‘five a day’ and urged them to go for a spot of indulgence.
Only after three rebuffs was he willing to compromise – by offering them chocolate and[itals] fruit. Meanwhile, his initial price of £9.95 a cake was casually swatted aside in favour of £6.
Not that Paul proved entirely devoid of self-knowledge. After the meeting, which his team-mates accurately described as ‘a car crash’, he admitted that ‘there were maybe some things I didn’t pick up on’.
And with that, the boys went off to create their fruit and veg cheesecakes, with dragon fruit, apricot and er, avocado. These were also so misshapen that the team decided it was best to call them ‘artisanal’.
Weirdly, the folks at Innocent weren’t impressed. ‘Avocado seems a bit odd,’ said one with commendable understatement. ‘It’s an acquired taste,’ replied Asif on behalf of the boys – the trouble being that the clients showed no signs of acquiring it and dropped the price still further.
But at least the boys’ sales to the public went a little better, with the cakes retailing in a pop-up café at £6, £6.50 or £7 depending on which team member was selling them and when. The only problem came when one customer said she was a vegetarian and so couldn’t eat the gelatine – at which point she was offered the cake for a fiver.
Compared to all that, the girls did seem like members of Mensa. Even so, their victory was almost as easy as the jobs done by Lord Sugar’s two assistants.
Once again Baroness Karen Brady was required only to lurk around raising the occasional eyebrow.
Once again Tim Campbell MBE stuck to his policy of helping us to understand exactly what was happening by repeating exactly what we’d just seen happening.
And so to the boardroom, where the girls beamed and the boys got stuck into throwing each other under the Number 94 to Tooting.
To his credit, Lord Sugar did a pretty good job of pretending to agonise about who should be fired.
But of course it wasn’t long before Paul was in the back of taxi wishing he hadn’t spent so much time ‘banging on about chocolate’.
THE APPRENTICE 2024: MEET THE CANDIDATES
Amina Khan
Occupation: Pharmacist and Business Owner
Location: Ilford
Amina has been a qualified pharmacist for over a decade, in which time she has created a successful skincare and supplements business.
Flo Edwards
Occupation: Recruitment Consultant
Location: London
Flo revealed that she started her own consultancy, making her ready to tackle Lord Sugar.
Foluso Falade
Occupation: Project Manager
Location: Manchester
Foluso brands herself the ‘Mary Poppins of business’ and revealed that her aim is to run the first Social Enterprise to win Lord Sugar’s investment.
Maura Rath
Occupation: Owner, Yoga Company
Location: Wexford
Maura is taking the edge as a yoga teacher into her appearance.
Noor Bouziane
Occupation: Owner, Jewellery Company
Location: Liverpool
Ambitious owner of a premium jewellery company Noor professed that she will generate a wealth of cash for Lord Sugar thanks to the unique nature of her business.
Onyeka Nweze
Occupation: Chartered Company Secretary
Location: London
Onyeka revealed her plan is to be the first tech business investment made by Lord Sugar in eighteen series.
Rachel Woolford
Occupation: Boutique Fitness Studio Owner
Location: Leeds
Business-minded from a very young age, Rachel has plenty of experience managing her work independently. As well as her hard work in the office, she also shares her fitness triumphs on social media including running the New York Marathon in 2019.
Raj Chohan
Occupation: Mortgage Broker
Location: Leamington Spa
Raj admits that while she is a grafter, she is determined to have fun while working – as illustrated on her fun-filled Instagram account. A self-confessed ‘dog with a bone’ when meeting her targets, she wants to hit a gap in the market and will do whatever it takes for success.
Sam Saadet
Occupation: Pre and Post Natal Fitness Coach
Location: Essex
Sam revealed her friends call her a real Del Boy for being ‘part-wheeler dealer’ as well as her eye for a bargain. An online fitness coach with a focus on mums and mums-to-be, she’s hoping to prove her business brain to Lord Sugar.
Dr. Asif Munaf
Occupation: Owner, Wellness Brand
Location: Sheffield
Asif boldly describes himself as ‘Beauty, brains, body and business’ on his CV. The qualified doctor’s business plan focuses on vitamins and supplements.
Jack Davies
Occupation: Recruitment Director
Location: Bristol
As well as his work as a recruitment director, Jack also acts as a food reviewer, meaning he is ready with diverse knowledge and skills for challenges.
Oliver Medforth
Occupation: Sales Executive
Location: Yorkshire
Oliver’s background in selling at markets has him looking forward to the famous sales tasks. He is often seen plugging his wares on social media – particularly his gin range.
Paul Bowen
Occupation: Director, Pie Company
Location: Lancashire
One of two pie company experts entering the process, Paul prides his business on big name clients such as Manchester City Football Club.
Dr. Paul Midha
Occupation: Owner, Dental Group
Location: Leeds
Paul started his practice using every resource he had. Used to extensive learning from studying as a dentist, Paul is set on Lord Sugar’s investment and all that he can teach him about the world of business.
Phil Turner
Occupation: Owner, Pie Company
Location: Bognor Regis
Phil was awarded ‘Supreme Pie Champion’ in 2020 for his family-owned pie business, which dates back to the 1930s. He’s hoping to prove himself to Lord Sugar and start making him some real dough.
Steve Darken
Occupation: Management Consultant
Location: London
Steve claims that he shares Lord Sugar’s sharp mind and sense of humour. Consulting for ‘some of the biggest companies in the world’, he’s ready to take on the boardroom.
Tre Lowe
Occupation: Music & Wellness Entrepreneur
Location: London
Tre has had his previous tastes of fame, including in the UK garage band named Architechs. His Instagram account is a who’s who of the showbiz world, including snaps with Simon Cowell and Emily Ratajkowski.
Virdi Singh Mazaria
Occupation: Music Producer
Location: Leicester
DJ Virdi wants to introduce Lord Sugar to world he’s yet to invest in – music. His life is certainly filled with luxury as he shares frequent snaps on flash holidays and in front of pricey motors.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/articles.rss
James Walton
