Glastonbury failed fans like me without huge rock acts – we need The Rolling Stones to make it great again

Glastonbury failed fans like me without huge rock acts – we need The Rolling Stones to make it great again

By Simon Cosyns, Deputy Editor

A few weeks before Glastonbury 2008, I was asked to meet festival founder Michael Eavis for a “crisis” meeting.

We sat in a veggie restaurant somewhere in London, mulling over the huge backlash against the upcoming headline appearance of superstar rapper Jay-Z.

If the Rolling Stones weren’t touring America in June and Mick Jagger had agreed to strut his way across the Pyramid Stage, it’s all anyone would be talking about
If the Rolling Stones weren’t touring America in June and Mick Jagger had agreed to strut his way across the Pyramid Stage, it’s all anyone would be talking aboutCredit: Getty
Rapper Jay-Z appearing at the festival in 2008
Rapper Jay-Z appearing at the festival in 2008Credit: Getty
Noel Gallagher has said the festival was 'built on a tradition of guitar music'
Noel Gallagher has said the festival was ‘built on a tradition of guitar music’Credit: Getty

The furore was fuelled by Noel Gallagher, brash but much-loved Epiphone-toting Oasis loudmouth, who had said the festival was “built on a tradition of guitar music”.

“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” he added. “Sorry, but Jay-Z?”

I remember saying to Eavis and daughter Emily that if they had 99 problems, Jay-Z wasn’t one, that his signing was genius and that The Sun would wholeheartedly back the rapper’s appearance.

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Thankfully, he was an unqualified triumph, famously opening his set with a montage of people hating on him, including Noel, and performing a sublime cover of Wonderwall to bring the house down and turn the “crisis” on its head.

My point is that I’m open to Glastonbury moving with the times, drawing on popular music’s ceaseless shifts in trends and its wonderful diversity.

Dua Lipa is a fabulous pop star, Shania Twain is a country diamond and SZA is R&B heaven.

But, when it comes to the 2024 line-up and without wishing to sound like a “male, pale, and stale” old fart, I’m also mindful of Noel’s stance.

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As Joan Jett once sang, I love rock and roll… and would love to think that it had a more prominent place among the myriad acts that make Glasto the greatest music festival on earth.

Put it this way, say the Rolling Stones weren’t touring America in June and Mick Jagger had agreed to strut and shimmy his way across the Pyramid Stage, it’s all anyone would be talking about.

Furthermore, there’s no Springsteen, AC/DC, Foo Fighters, Pearl Jam or Metallica on the bill. No Macca or Elton because they’ve just done it. And no chance of a reunion by Led Zepplin or Pink Floyd.

As for Britpop, Blur had their moment at Wembley last year. Noel and Liam still need to kiss and make up (perish the thought).

So we’re left with Glasto stalwarts Coldplay, God bless ‘em, who, under Chris Martin’s guidance, will do a lovely, phone-lights-in-the-air show.

But they simply haven’t got riffs at their disposal like the monsters that usher in Satisfaction, or Highway To Hell .

On the plus side, because Glastonbury is so huge and diverse, there’s rock gold to be found in them there Somerset pastures. Idles, The National, The Breeders and two lots of Irish rabble rousers, Fontaines DC and The Mary Wallopers, among them.

But to borrow from Led Zep, let’s hope it won’t be a long lonely lonely time before the Pyramid Stage rocks and rolls again.

MOVE OVER, OLD FARTS, AND LET THE YOUNG STARS SHINE

By Howell Davies, Associate Bizarre Editor

Glastonbury is finally moving with the times, and it’s great to see.

Yes, there will be old farts complaining that it was better in their day. What’s new there?

Really, this is the music that people are listening to in 2024.

I’ve been to the festival every year since 2015 and I’m bored of seeing the same crusty old white men as headliners. This twist is refreshing for a pop fan like me.

Of course there is a place for everyone, but old acts have dominated the line-up for years. And after a backlash over 2023’s all-male headliners, I love that there’s such a diverse roster.

Dua Lipa is Britain’s biggest superstar in years, making waves around the world. Coldplay are one of the most successful bands of the 21st Century, with phenomenal stage shows.

SZA had one of the most-played albums of 2023 with SOS – and has an incredibly exciting future.

And in the legends slot, Shania Twain – who has the biggest-selling album of all time by a female artist with Come On Over – will have punters of every age singing along to her hits. No one talked about Guns N’ Roses when they headlined last year, but Stormzy’s debut headline set in 2019 felt historic.

I’m sure some people will be disappointed that veteran acts like the Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen and Stevie Wonder aren’t topping the bill.

But we have to give younger stars the chance to headline now.

If not, when the “classic” Glasto headliners are all dead and buried, who will fill those slots as music legends and icons?

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Howell Davies

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