IT is not often you hear a mum boast about being “hotter” than her daughter, but it’s the kind of thing Caroline Durridge says without hesitation.
The teaching assistant can’t believe how much “scruffy” daughter Amanda has let herself go.
Caroline, 64, claims people sometimes think she’s her 38-year-old daughter’s younger sister.
The widow, from Ely, Cardiff, thinks Amanda would look so much better if only she ditched her leggings and slapped on some make-up.
Here, the mum-of-five and granny-of-seven tells us where she believes Amanda is going wrong.
Sipping a glass of bubbly, I glance up from the restaurant menu as a good- looking 30-something man stops by my table.
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“Sorry to bother you but I just saw your mum go to the loo so I thought I would take the opportunity to get you a drink,” he says.
But my “mum” Amanda is actually my daughter, who at 38 is 26 years younger than me.
I’m a mum-of-five with seven grandchildren, but thanks to my youthful looks, good genes and hours spent at the gym, it is not the first time Amanda’s been mistaken for someone way older.
I’m hotter than her and look more like her sister than mother.
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Amanda’s fashion choices are frumpy.
She wears shapeless dresses, old leggings and bulky jumpers whereas my style is glamorous.
I love spending £150 a month on bodycon dresses and tops which show off my curves, and I go to the gym for an hour every day to make sure I’ve got as svelte a figure now as I did in my twenties.
I’m still a size 10/12 and I get my hair dyed and cut every six weeks, so I always look immaculate.
I’ve got good genes too, with great cheekbones and firm, size 36DD boobs, despite the fact I’ve not had any cosmetic work done.
I’m living proof our family can look good, but sadly, Amanda ignores this.
Her own mum shouldn’t be more attractive and youthful-looking than her
Caroline
She hides behind puffer jackets, baggy jumpers, saggy skirts and dirty leggings.
Basically, she needs to put more effort in.
Her own mum shouldn’t be more attractive and youthful-looking than her.
‘Too tired with baby for glam’
She has a new baby but it’s no excuse — there should always be time to maintain a good skin routine, go to the hairdressers and put on make-up.
It’s my job, as her mum, to tell her to up her game.
If she isn’t careful her man will lose interest in her — you have to put in the effort.
I get so cross with her.
She needs to try harder now so that in 40 years time she doesn’t look even older.
We’re from a family blessed with natural beauty.
No Botox, fillers or cosmetic treatments are required, so she has a head start.
I know if she had a makeover, brushed her hair properly and bought sexier dresses she’d feel ten times better.
She doesn’t have to spend thousands on pricey creams, but a bit more soap and water wouldn’t go amiss.
I’ve tried the softly-softly approach to no avail so now I’m hitting her with a sledgehammer.
Because underneath her awful clothes, she has a fantastic body.
She’s a size 16, so not a big girl, and seeing her slumped in frumpy frocks breaks my heart.
Appearances are important and she ought to be embarrassed that people think she’s decades older than she is
Caroline
I plan on taking her to the gym over summer so she can enjoy workouts like me.
She never wears make-up and I don’t know when she last went to the hairdressers.
I know she thinks I am being ridiculous and shallow, but I don’t care.
Appearances are important and she ought to be embarrassed that people think she’s decades older than she is.
When people tell me I look like her sister, or she looks like my mum, I know I’m right to meddle and tell her what I think.
That’s my job as her mum — I cared for her when she was little and I’m doing the same now.
Part-time teaching assistant Amanda lives with long-term partner Grafton Welsh, 40, a customer services adviser, and their children Esmee, ten, Elvie, five, and one-month-old Elodie, in Pontypridd, Rhondda Cynon Taf.
She tells us why her mum needs to butt out.
I only gave birth to my third child five weeks ago, so when mum gets mistaken for my sister, it makes me angry.
I can’t be bothered with make-up and I don’t want to spend hours faffing in the mirror and worrying about bodycon dresses.
To be honest, I’m not entirely sure why mum thinks I should be. I spend most of my time breastfeeding and covered in baby sick.
Meddlesome mum
I wish my mum would respect the fact that I’m comfortable with my own fashion choices.
My mum has always been so meddlesome.
When I was a child she wanted to dress me in outfits to match my brothers and sisters, and put ribbons in my hair.
She still thinks I’m nine years old and tries to fix my hair or tidy my shirt.
When people tell me I look like her sister, or she looks like my mum, I know I’m right to meddle and tell her what I think
Caroline
I tell her to butt out but she never listens.
It’s so annoying.
Shopping with her is a nightmare. I need comfortable leggings, T-shirts and jumpers.
But she’s always pushing me to try on skintight jeans and slinky dresses — the kind of clothes she loves.
The problem is she’s from a different generation.
She thinks if she doesn’t always look amazing, she’ll be criticised.
Times have changed.
My partner loves me for me, not for my make-up and fashion choices.
He just rolls his eyes when mum starts meddling.
He tells me I am beautiful.
He knows we have a new baby and that I don’t have time to dress up like I’m going to a nightclub.
If I am not wiping sick off my top, I’m changing nappies, doing the school run or cleaning the house.
I don’t have time for a fashion parade.
It can be embarrassing when mum gets asked out at a restaurant and I get mistaken for the ‘frumpy sister’.
I want to scream, ‘That’s my mum and she’s a pensioner’, but I always bite my tongue.
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Now, when she goes on about my skincare routine or tries to tame my hair, I tune her out.
She means well, but I wish she’d just zip it.
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Anna Roberts
