Overbearing mother-in-law slammed after shocking behavior that made the couple ‘dread their own wedding’ sees her uninvited from the nuptials

A woman has revealed she’s uninvited her fiancé’s overbearing mother in the midst of preparing for their wedding. 

‘AITA for telling my soon-to-be MIL (mother-in-law) that I’m marrying her son and not her, just after uninviting her to our wedding?’ the bride-to-be asked in a Reddit post on the Am I The A**hole subreddit, racking up more than 5,000 upvotes in just two days at the time of writing. 

The soon-to-be wife and her fiancé, both 28, met in college, and, according to the original poster (OP), the pair ‘have a great relationship,’ and got engaged last year.

In the run up to their fall wedding, the pair have been busy planning – but the bride-to-be’s future mother-in-law had been complicating things at every step.

‘Upon news of our engagement she was super excited, very uncharacteristically. We then all realized that she basically wanted to frame the whole day around her – think “everyone should be praising me for birthing this boy, he couldn’t even get married without me!”‘ the OP explained.

‘From there the craziness really ramped up – she was coming along with him to tux fittings, trying to plan out the music (even OUR FIRST DANCE), and getting angry at me for daring to choose a dress she didn’t like.’

What’s more, her fiancé’s relationship with his mother has long been a ‘sore spot’ for him, with much of his family feeling similarly.

‘She is separated from his dad and from what I’ve heard (and witnessed), the family don’t get along much with her,’ the bride explained.

‘If you met her you’d understand why – she’s super judgemental (sic) and rude, and barely has a nice word to say about her own kids, let alone me.

‘Unfortunately, my fiancé (being her only son and the youngest child) is her blatant favorite – she really wants him to be Mommy’s Boy, but he’s not that way at all and does a great job of handling her and keeping his distance (which honestly he prefers).’ 

As the future mother-in-law began inserting herself more and more into the wedding planning, the bride-to-be and her fiancé, along with his extended family, began ‘to toy with the idea of uninviting her based on this behavior.’

The bride admitted that, ‘as wrong as it kind of innately feels’ to disinvite her future mother-in-law, ‘this is a pretty exceptional case and honestly her actions were starting to make us dread our own wedding.’

After deciding to uninvite her from the ceremony, the couple asked her to come over to their house, where the pair ‘sat her down in the peace and quiet, and gently explained to her that we no longer wanted her to attend the wedding.’

‘She got really angry and immediately flew off the handle at me and not her son, as though I was the one who had influenced the rest of the family to uninvite her,’ the bride explained.

‘My frustration at her boiled over, and without shouting I stood up and told her that I wanted her to stop yelling, and that she had no right to speak to me as she was. 

‘When I realized she was about to blow up again, I cut her off with “In case you don’t know, I’m the one marrying your son, not you”. She didn’t say anything else, just snatched up her bag and left.’

The bride went on to describe that her fiancé’s mom hasn’t spoken to her since the meeting, ‘but she’s trying to get my son to change his mind (believe me when I say he will not).’

The future mother-in-law ‘wants an apology’ from the bride-to-be, but the rest of the groom-to-be’s family thinks that the OP didn’t do anything wrong.

‘I kind of wonder if my comment was unnecessary and whether it would’ve been better to stay the calm and collected party. I’m just so done with her and I wanted to let her know exactly how I felt,’ the post concluded

Commenters overwhelmingly sided with the woman.

‘I wouldn’t care what she thinks. It seems everyone agrees she should not be at the wedding, so 100% NTA. P.S. You may want to hire security to keep her out,’ one top-voted comment read.

To this, the OP responded, ‘Yeah, security are probably a good idea….’

‘NTA. You did things EXACTLY correctly. If you didn’t put your foot down now, you would have a lifetime of drama with her. This post should be saved/stickied as an example of how to properly deal with a terrible mother-in-law. And your fiance deserves a high five for having your back!’ a second commenter wrote.

‘NTA. This kind of delusional behavior will only get progressively worse over time, especially if it isn’t (firmly) quashed,’ a third chimed in.

‘Either you set hard boundaries now, or she will be throwing tantrums at every milestone for the rest of your lives.

‘Congrats on having a future husband with a shiny steel spine to match your own.’

A fourth echoed: ‘NTA. Congrats on your spine.’

A fifth added: ‘NTA. Screw being the “calm and collected party”. That woman literally wants to marry her son. You spoke the truth. She wants to get to the altar to “have a moment with her son”, wow, sweet home Alabama. Good job putting her in her place. Get some security for the wedding or family members to stay alert in case she decides to make an appearance.’ 

Someone else further affirmed the OP’s response, writing, ‘Of all the crazy shizzle you could’ve thrown at her, that’s as benign as it gets. NTA’

And, as another commenter put it: ‘NTA – she sounds a nutter.’